Flight attendants, bankers, administrative assistants, management positions. Four of the many career fields where you always see women well groomed, well dressed and well perfumed on the job. They all greet people on behalf of their respective companies and provide some form of customer service. It would be perfectly fair to say that they can be seen as a reflection of their workplace.
Something that I have taken notice of overtime in my own personal encounters with these women in those career fields as a customer myself is that ‘well-groomed’ often includes makeup. Here. We. Go
I started to think to myself, are women in these roles always simply expected to get dolled up with a face of makeup to enhance their beauty? Is it expected by their employer as well as the customers they serve? If they came to work barefaced one day, would everybody notice?
Personally, I believe that the answer to all those questions are yes; an enormous blinking, flashing YES! Although no employer can legally say that makeup is expected of you, sometimes it is written in tiny, ultra-fine ball point pen, invisible ink. As a customer, you can detect it when you walk into a building and everything from their flora to their fauna exudes taste and class and if you’re an employee, you can detect it your first week on the job when you observe the appearance and behavior of everyone around you. It is human nature to prefer the lady on the bank teller line who presents herself well. For some this can even influence the degree of great customer service that she provides.
I learnt a very monumental component to life a long time ago. Respect everybody’s opinions and preferences. You do not have to agree but always respect it. Makeup is of course, a man-made product designed to allow us as women to enhance our beauty. Some women love it, some use it in moderation while some prefer none at all. It’s safe to say I’m a makeup lover, however, I am not compelled to perform the skill of makeup application every single day. I would have to wake up earlier than I normally do, and I wouldn’t walk away from the mirror until I feel confident that I like my makeup look. For me, it seems like a strenuous task to complete every single day. My daily interactions with these women got me thinking. If I was in their career field, could I do makeup every day for work? Probably not. If I were working in a bank where everyone wore their makeup to work to look their best, I would feel compelled to complete my look with makeup every morning as well to adapt to my environment as an employee. It doesn’t make me insecure about myself or less confident in my own abilities to perform, but it is human nature. This is what happens most times.
The term ‘well groomed’ is open to your interpretation and perception and my definition of the word and what it includes may be different form yours. I had the pleasure of speaking with two female banking professionals and they explained that their version does include makeup. Being that they are in client-facing roles, perception and customer service coincides with each other. They want to always look their best and enhancing their beauty with makeup aids them in doing this. This is their best well-groomed look.
It’s the same reason we as women put on our favorite work attire and best professional makeup look when there’s something special going on at work like picture day. It’s our best well-groomed look, and nobody has to persuade us to do it.
One clear-skied night, I was parked outside Walmart waiting on a friend. A man was passing and passing fairly close to my car (facing me so I could watch him). I Clutched the automatic lock button on my door and I wanted to click it sooo badly, but I knew how loud that lock button on my car was. He would hear it, I didn’t want him to think I was prejudiced or discriminatory, but he was coming too close and I’ve heard too many stories. He passed and when I felt he was a good distance away I clicked the lock button, but from my rear-view mirror I know that he still heard it because I saw him look back.
I’m sorry sir, it’s nothing personal but I’m a young lady alone parked in my car at night, I come first. Next time, I won’t wait until the stranger passes to hit lock.
In this sad, sad world I worry about the gentleman who’s keys I can hear jingling in his pocket just behind me because we’re parked in the same area of the Walmart parking lot. I worry about the one who pulls up a bit too close to me at the gas pump and contemplates to himself whether I would feel weird about him giving me a hand. I worry about the one who’s footprints and thumps echoes in my ear on campus because he’s coming from a late class and just trying to get home to his wife and child. In this sad sad world, everyone is guilty until proven innocent because my life is worth the all the worrying and cautiousness I can fathom. You should worry too.
I know what you’re thinking, but I worry about the females too. Sex trafficking and kidnapping is not confined to one gender so I do not dismiss the worry just because it’s a female approaching me to ask for directions. I worry about her too.
I have a friend that I met while in my freshman year of college. He liked to follow up conversations sometimes by saying “Ya heard me, but was you listening?”
We hear about situations every day, but we never really listen until we feel them. Young women are being abducted for the body parts they were born with to never be seen again. Okay, maybe the urgency isn’t as transparent to others as it is to me. I’ll rephrase. This is 2020, we are in the age of technology where you can’t walk down the street without appearing on several different cameras. We are in the age of social media where it takes one second for a message to be circulated around the world, let alone one country. STILL, young ladies are disappearing never to be found again.
Now that’s not scary, it is absolutely terrifying.
It means that the network of people responsible for the sex trafficking groups have become clever; more clever than ever before. Data has shown that once abducted, it is not likely that the person will ever be found alive by law enforcement. This means then that we have to protect ourselves while we’re going about our days.
I thought about calling this piece “the comeback” but that to me sounds a bit like I had I retired. Instead, I'm alerting you guys that I took a momentary leave of absence, and now I’m back with more of the great blog posts that you love.
Life happens sometimes, and it happens to the best of us. I entered MTSU bright eyed, a bit naive but with the same outshining personality that you may see now. I never procrastinated, school was at the top of my list of priorities, and I lived to be an A class student. As far as organized goes, I was the example that comes with the word when you google search it. I was never perfect, far from it; but I thought I was doing something right by striving to be. This persisted throughout my sophomore year but by my Junior year, the impressive attitude toward school diminished. Aside from my scholastic endeavors, I am a true Virgo at heart in that I practice control and strategic planning in all aspects of my life. It is both my saving grace and the trigger of my “get up”.
It is now senior year and I coach myself to get assignments done. Nothing happened, all is right with the world; or as right as it could be… but I found myself having to clock in and out. Striving for perfection in the first two years of my undergraduate journey has humbled me, folded me and tested me to my core. I burnt myself out 2 miles into my journey and now I am left struggling to find the strength and ambition left in me to continue the last one. Take it from someone who has done it all wrong: that is the most incorrect way that I can possibly think of to start another chapter of your life.
Sometimes it is necessary for your own mental health to Live and let Live. If I could do it again, I would learn to let go sometimes and limit the amount of pressure I place upon myself. As life after undergrad gets heavier on my mind, I am taking all precautions and mandatory steps to ensure the transition into the next chapter of life is as monotonous as possible.
I started this blog as a happy place for me to share my thoughts with the world and I’ll continue that. Sometimes real-world priorities suffocate the priority of allocating time to spend working on your dream. Work on t
hem anyway. First semester of senior year is near its end and this is me getting up.
1. Choose a topic you’re already knowledgeable about or seems the most interesting to you.
-It is much easier to write about something that you are familiar with, or excited to learn about. This will reflect in your work.
2. Always, ALWAYS use Microsoft word ONLINE even if you own a MAC.
- Computers are intelligent but highly unpredictable in nature. Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong. Using word online will automatically save your document in the event that something happens. If your work is deleted and you have to start over, I guarantee you that it will not be as good as your first version. If you own a MAC, most professors generally do not accept documents written using the pages software, don’t take the risk of having points deducted for late work.
3. If you find writing to be particularly grueling for you, find an essay of a similar topic and use it as your guide only.
-Be extremely careful if you decide to use an example as you will be tempted to copy and paste, or steal parts from it. Read it only once and do not revert back to it. Plagiarism is a serious offense in all walks of life, and it is not worth your class grade.
4. Start Strong and Finish even Stronger.
- Write your introduction first, it sets the tone for the entire paper. It is important that you set a goal for your paper (in your thesis statement) before you begin to write so that it can be used as a guide to ensure your paper does exactly what it’s supposed to. People usually find 2 things most memorable about a conversation, the introduction and the conclusion.
5. Write using Word’s built-in thesaurus alongside you!
- I often change my words to make them sound more catchy in transit of writing my piece. If you are not as experienced, use it in the proofreading stage as it makes the task of ‘sound’ much easier. You can easily replace a word like ‘big’ to a much more advanced one like “gigantic”.
6. Always type your document in single space.
- Quality over Quantity always. This way you focus more on the content rather than how long the document is. You can format the document to double space at any time after you’re done but don’t forget!
7. DO NOT PAUSE your writing for any reason.
-When you attack your paper head on with no distractions you get much more done and your thoughts transfer from your head to the paper with no delays or confusion. Usually when you pause you sometimes forget your thoughts. When you sit down to write, ensure that you have everything you need within reach.
8. To this end, write down your ideas in advance before you arrive at those parts of the paper.
- For example, if while writing you get a spark of genius and you know what you want to say next, press enter a few times and write it down to remind yourself. The teacher can always tell when you had more to add but you ran out of time or lost your train of thought.
9. Just write it exactly how you think it at first.
- You can always adjust the document in whatever manner needed whether it be editing, spelling or grammar checks. The most important part is ensuring that you arrive at all the objectives of your paper first. Worry about “does this sound right?” later on.
10. Let your friends proofread your work!
-Before you finalize and submit, get an extra pair of eyes to review it. They may see something that you didn’t or can give you sound advice on how to make the piece better. Word allows us the opportunity to highlight an aspect of the text and make a comment in the Review Tab.
Allow me to tell you this story:
One day there was a mini presentation after one of our NPHC members had a new member presentation that week held in the student union. Of course, it was loud, it was entertaining, it was distracting and it was authentic. Later on, in one of my school’s Facebook groups a Caucasian student had complained that there was a “flash mob” (I cannot make this stuff up y’all) in a common area and his friend who had vicious anxiety began to feel so uncomfortable that he had to step outside until the show was over. The student claimed that it was “obnoxious, annoying and doesn’t serve any real purpose” and further expressed that it is ridiculous and he would like it to stop. Instead of defending the black population, a member of staff answered politely telling the student what the “flash mob” was, apologized, and explained that the disruption was brief and that the student was allowed to come into her office for solitude during any of the future presentations should he feel the need.
One word….. Wow. We the black student population were granted a few minutes to showcase our 'blackness' if you will and it gets considered as a flash mob. We the minority at our school were permitted a few minutes to proudly showcase our culture for all to enjoy and somehow, there is room for accommodating the majority......
When I was a graduating senior, I applied to the schools that I liked, and hoped that they liked me back. Many of which were laid out for me through the outstanding work of Junior Achievement Bahamas. The school that I set my hopes and dreams on was Morgan State University, an HBCU of course. I think my decision was tainted with a hint of bias because it was one of the schools that I was fortunate enough to visit and walk. Most of all, I faintly remember my younger myself stating that whichever school I chose in the end had to be a HBCU. So, 3 years later; how am I about to graduate from a predominantly white school?
One word- MONEY. Unfortunately, HBCU’s do not have the budget to grant scholarships like PWI’s do and when they do, you know a person is as sharp as knife. Honestly, I went with the choice that offered me the largest scholarship- MONEY. That taught me one of the most valuable lessons that I have ever learned. Do not let money move you. Never sell out. If you pursue something, do not settle for the cheaper or less quality version just because it costs you less. In contrast, I am of the belief that you should not have to over pay for education. Not in a world where billionaires became billionaires solely off the strength of their own merit. Learning begins outside of the classroom so the amount of money that you pay for a degree that reads the same as mine, is minuscule to me.
The HBCU choice is bigger than parties, nights you want to replay forever, or the pro black stigma carried in association. It’s supporting something that was built by us, for us. It’s ensuring they are still around to compete with schools that will never allow us to wholeheartedly embrace our culture. It’s protecting a legacy left behind by our ancestors who dared to seek an education. It’s the very soul of Greek life. It’s protecting our future. It’s a place that we can all subsist contentedly in our own skin. And if we don’t support us, if we don’t send our children to HBCU’s then they will disappear.
My school- the way they do things, the software and facilities are great and constantly improving. The campus is so enormous that walking from class to class is a full work out. I will be forever grateful for the opportunity I have now because I have formed bonds with the most amazing women I've ever met- my sisters, and met people from all walks of life that completely changed how I view the world. My point here is I don't know how much freedom I have in adapting to an atmosphere where even when we the minority are granted a few minutes there is a comprise to make the majority feel comfortable. An atmosphere where when we gather even for the most positive of causes, we are labeled as a "flash mob". How much do you think anyone can really grow in a situation like that? Now, it is the job of any school to ensure that its students feel safe and comfortable on campus at all times, but again; my point here is this complaint would have never happened if we were attending an HBCU. We would not feel made to suppress, or compromise because "flash mobs" would be encouraged, respected and expected of us. I cannot blame my school for its position on the student's complaint, I respect it even. I don’t regret my decision in attending a PWI because the quality of my education sums insignificant to that of a person with an HBCU degree; rather because I missed out on my opportunity to thrive in an environment where the students look just like me. They can relate like me, struggle like me, embrace our culture like me, and learn to conquer in a world where sometimes skin color still matters like me. Our college years are the greatest contributor to the “young and free” times of our lives and while learning is at our core, so should our ‘carpe diem’ energy. We will never get another opportunity to live the undergraduate experience again.
I wonder, when you’re done with school (or when you graduated school) will you be able to say that you have learned any valuable life lessons? Accomplished anything outside of your degree? Met some people who've made an impact in your life? Will you be able to move forward knowing your purpose? As for me, I am not entirely sure. I am of the opinion that every new experience brings something different to master and I can not help but feel that a shift in environment will allow that. I’ll find out.
How are you? No, really; how are you? Are you taking care of your mental health? Are you putting self-first?
This is what we should be asking the people we hold relationships with. Mental health is an outrageously important topic that we rarely discuss. I’m not exactly sure when, or why, but it has become ‘cool’ to always show strength and conceal our feelings. Growing up in our black families, we are taught that we don’t get to have a voice, an opinion, or a feeling. When we grow up and become adults then, communication skills are a necessity that many of us never had the advantage of knowing all because no one bothered to ask when we were children. There is a stigma about therapy and people who attend therapy that we desperately need to break. Why is it that a person is frowned upon when they decide to seek outside help? Why do we automatically assume they’re crazy?
How are you? No, really; how are you? Are you taking care of your mental health? Are you putting self-first?
If you want to know why we feel so uncomfortable showing weakness and talking about our insecurities, go back to the roots. Who are we to discuss how challenging our day was at work, or how just living one day in our shoes is oh so draining when our ancestors bore the whips and chains that should have broken them but didn’t? Who are we to speak up about our feelings when they fought years of oppression so that we could get the chance to live without bondage? All of this is true. We owe everything that has come to be in our modern society to our elders. However, My friends; I think what you don’t understand is that the mind on its own is a powerful tool that can break you. I think you need to remember that sometimes the oppressor is your own self. Why is it that we cannot express the ties that bind us to an unhealthy emotional state to our parents without them calling us ungrateful? Now that’s whole other can of worms.
How are you? No, really; how are you? Are you taking care of your mental health? Are you putting self-first?
This is what we should be asking our males. Black boys don’t know that it’s okay to cry and feel. They can’t show weakness because we rely on them to be the providers and protectors of the households. They believe they can’t cry because if they are seen as weak then who will presume the role of a black man? Never underestimate the influence and power women possess. We tell them that its okay to cry and be vulnerable in front of us but we’ll leave them for being ‘too soft’. A man should never have to face the world in his poker faced costume and come home to his woman having to keep up the act.
How are you? No, really; how are you? Are you taking care of your mental health? Are you putting self-first?
Seeking therapy is okay, even if you think you don’t need it. Taking break from social media is okay. Confronting the person that scarred you is okay. A moment of weakness is okay. Talking to someone about trauma is okay. Sitting with a friend in silence is okay. Speaking affirmations is okay. Praying is okay. Meditating is okay. Taking random vacation time off is okay. Ensuring you’re not giving more of yourself to anyone or anything is okay. Taking a day to yourself to do what you love is okay. Any method of coping that you have is okay.
Bahamian women are generally unlike the stereotypical quite and obedient wives we see in the media. The good little wife. We are wives, and mothers but we’re also our own person. We are bold, powerful and unapologetic for it. Despite all of that, the men of the country are STILL more respected, higher paid, deemed more worthy of praise, and most of all more of a credible source than we are. Perhaps that is the reason why when we decide to have the audacity; to have the courage to step out and accuse the superior race that is, males; of rape we are silenced. Oh, you didn’t think that’s where I was going with this did you? I have more.
Rape has never been taken seriously in our culture and in many societies around the world. The fact that there are child brides in some Asian countries is proof alone. I bet some of you did not know that if a Bahamian couple went before God and pledged for better or for worse, her husband can legally stop her from travelling because he did not give her the “permission” to do so. Marital rape is a very real thing that is overlooked and ignored in our country mostly because many people believe there is no problem. A wife can claim that she was raped by her husband and pursue legal action, sure. This is quite lawful, but will justice prevail in the end? Probably not.
For a small nation of people, we talk about each other’s personal lives as if we get paid to do so. As a result, many of the elders in our families are overly concerned with saving face. Historically, the rational thing to do when a female child is raped by a member of her family has always been to “keep it in the family”. Little girls are taught that it is okay for their privacy and innocence to be appropriated by the men they are forced to see everyday and entrusted with the role of protecting them. I am being a bit too presumptuous here. This scenario only happens if the family members of the girls believe their tragic stories in the first place. Do you see the irony?
Instead of taking accountability, we make excuses. Women are objectified every day, and whether you realize it or not we know when men aren’t staring at just our faces. This has been taken to a new extent as we are in a phase of ‘victim blaming’. When a rape happens the first thing we do is scrutinize the actions of the victim in hopes of proving they are in some way partly responsible for a rapist not understanding the word no. It is not my fault if I wear something that arouses you! It is my right to wear what I please. However, it is your fault if you think what I wear physically resonates with you to mean I want you; and YOU specifically to have sex with me. We need to educate our society now more than ever that NO means immediately STOP and walk away. It doesn’t mean try again in 2 seconds and maybe I’ll say yes, or wear me down to the point where I’m too tired to fight back. Maybe it stems from the average pick up where a man asks a female for her number and when she says no, they result to violence. Or maybe it’s the fact that when we clearly voice the fact that we are already taken, it seems to be an invitation to persist further. Who knows, I may need you to tell me.
I know what you were thinking from I began this piece, “So the only people who are raped in the country are females? Males aren’t victims too?” of course they are. But how many of them willingly step up and take legal action against their accusers? If they did, how many law makers and upholders would take them seriously? Little to none. It is a shame, because there should be no double standard especially where a violation of the mind and body is concerned.
A social problem only becomes one when people are aware of it. So, while you may say this is nothing new, we’ve heard it all before, or other things; how many of you have actually attempted to do anything to bring awareness to the matter? We can discuss and debate things on twitter all day (I’ll catch heat for this comment), but when there comes a time to act who will really volunteer to do something? If there was a march who would participate?
Let's talk about something people do not address; something real. I always say I feel sorry for everyone who did not grow up Caribbean and I really do. It's really nothing at all personal, rather; my reasoning stems from being a product of all Bahamian parents and an all Bahamian family. My reasoning stems from both growing and being a product of the best possible environment to raise a child. I love my country with all my soul, and this is evident to all people that I meet both natives and foreigners. There is an unwritten rule that I can't say I love my country, while choosing to work or do my schooling abroad. I know this because every time I boast about paradise, I get "so if your country is so great, why do you choose to reside here?" (Here being Uncle SAM). I'll tell you something you probably won't want to hear. They are absolutely correct.
Why do we choose to abide by the laws of another country who makes our resident status outrageously difficult to obtain when it is our birthrights to live in peace in our own country? And does it make me any less of a Bahamian? Any less patriotic then? If my roots and heritage are so worthy of my praise, then why do I choose to physically live apart from it? I read this quote once and it will stick with me forever "the truth is rarely pure and never simple" (Oscar Wilde). It's no secret that like any other country, my little archipelago has its problems. Problems that individually, we cannot move. We all want to be able to contribute to our country in a meaningful way, but often the opportunity is simply not presented. The truth my friends, is that we're selfish. We become bright, educated young people that exude potential, but our selfishness does not allow us to go back home to live and execute our talents. The excuses, of course, range from the typical we won't be paid enough, the stigma of being "average", seeking better opportunities, and more. We're selfish because instead of sharing our gifts and attempting to solve the problems within the country that everyone knows is there, we run and beg for citizenship somewhere else to build up another place while our own country begs us to stay.
In the interest of total transparency, I will admit that it is nice to get away to a private life you build from scratch, start over in a new place, thrive and still have a tropical oasis to go home to. It is nice to know that you come from a place where the beaches, climate, and simple flora and fauna are envied. Most of all, it is nice to have the freedom to boast about how you come from this world-renowned tourist destination but still have the ability to escape the problems associated with that place whenever you feel.
We are not blind to the salary/wage limits that cripple our people financially and it is the top reason most of us stay away. I implore you my friends, realize that the only way forward is together and evidently the only way to make a change is to be the change. The leaders will not be youthful forever, and when the time comes, there has to be a future prime minister, future cabinet ministers, future CEO's and future Innovators. I believe it is time to start thinking about how much we really love our country by what we are willing to invest back into it and what we are willing to sacrifice for growth. I get asked if I plan on moving back home every day. My answer has always been "Not right away, but in the future I will. I can't see myself settling anywhere else". I must be able to help myself before I could help my country. That isn't selfish, it's the truth in its rare, pure and simple form.
If you have taken the time to read this post, I encourage you to make this pledge on your social media platforms. You are not expected to pledge to live at home forever as the intention is not to restrict your freedom. The pledge simply means that you will use whatever platform you have to advocate for a better Bahamas with opportunities like never before. Wherever you are in the world, whatever gifts and talents you have, your pledge will be determined entirely by you through which ever medium you choose to utilize in efforts to become an ambassador for what could be.
This is not to bash, attack, or ridicule any one in any way. Your life is yours to live and I respect that. It is your right to agree or disagree as you choose but this is my personal opinion of the way forward. I believe people should do whatever makes them happy in this life.
Me to me: You are about to be at the 4-year mark of your college career.
What have you learned?
College - an educational institution or establishment, in particular one providing higher education or specialized professional or vocational training (dictionary.com). We were taught that we need college so that we can specialize in whatever field it is we seek to enter in on the job market. This is now obsolete. When our parents and grandparents were in their youth, a college degree was a rare commodity only the most fortunate had. Many people felt as though they did not need them, and in some ways, they did not. I don’t mean to play devil’s advocate here, but kids; we now need a college degree because everyone has one. If everyone applying in the job pool has one and you don’t, your resume will not make it past the secretary. How can you compete without one in a world where college is the cool thing to do? Where pep talks to choose college are completely unnecessary? Where it is not even a choice anymore but rather an assumption? Now, how would you feel if I told you that a degree wasn’t even the real purpose of your steep sacrifice to attend college?
Wait! Don’t exit just yet. Oblige me first by answering this question: “What have you learned?”. No really, what have you learned? Sure, you learned some stuff about your major, sure you were taught how to properly format a resume, sure you know how to write a paper. But if you were thrusted onto the job and expected to execute today or tomorrow, could you do it? I told you earlier that a degree was not your real purpose of attending college and it is not. While you’re here; your job is to live and experience. What has life taught you since you left home to acclimate to a totally foreign environment? What has life taught you since you were expected to start paying some or maybe even all of your own bills? When I ask you what you have learned, this is what I meant. While in college, you are your own person. It’s an opportunity to figure out who you want to be as an individual and capitalize on it. There is no better place in the world to network with people with differing personalities, from differing places; each with the same number of opportunities as you. You get a chance to learn and meet new people before they become who they are meant to be in life. You witness the growth, you see the potential shining through, and it motivates you to be better and do better. Sometimes you experiment, both good and bad things depending on your definition. You learn somethings are just not for you. I am glad I decided to attend college because I have grown and matured around complete strangers a great deal in the past 3 years. The best part about it is the fact that I can only get better, and that I know that I have a whole lot more growing and maturing to do.
I’ll tell you what I’ve learnt since being here and you’re welcome to disagree. Not everyone is going to like you, people believe in a vast amount of things and it’s not your job to judge them for it, people are different because they did not grow up the same as you, Sometimes you get disappointed, happiness is a choice, not everyone you are loyal to will be loyal to you, people will not pay you the same respect as you do them, and question everything; everything. I learned to pace myself and to breathe. I learned to be a little more adventurous, and a little less fearful. Mostly most (this is deliberate) of all, I learned that even though I THINK I’ve experienced a lot of things, I KNOW that this time next year I will look back and say “Girl, you thought that was all, just keep living”.
Before I begin, I must admit; this particular piece undertook quite a bit of editing from the time I wrote it last week to now. This week I had to reassess my tone, my diction, and my wording because I was too passionate. I know what you’re thinking, “What’s wrong with having passion?”. Passion is a fuel that can keep you going on a day when you’re running the lowest, but it is often misinterpreted as anger or aggression. This brings us here today as I fairly and impartially discuss an imperative focal point with a central topic at hand.
There was a post circulating on the most popular apps (Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter) that said: "Be his peace, he already has enough pain". Well, this caught fire as meme’s do and ladies began to recirculate the meme with a negative connotation after a man asks a woman to be his peace and men retaliated with their own versions:
Him: Be my peace.
Me: (The meme shows something violent from a memorable black movie).
The Ladies absolutely hate it and if you see through their eyes, you would hate it too. Let's get deep for just a second; real deep. My mom is a rock. A strong, un-shaking, un-moving, human personification of what a mom, a woman is. She has an answer for every question and knows how to help you with every problem you may stumble upon in life. Most people are fortunate enough to say that they have a mom similar to mine. That was your example of a woman growing up and when you have kids you want yourself or you want to find a woman to be to your kids what your mom was to you. As a society we cast women in the “fixer” “doer” “be-er” role, so when men grow up and say things like they want us to be their peace; it makes sense. I understand where it comes from.
After conducting multiple conversations with my male counterparts over the last week I’ve figured out why men like the “Be my peace” phrase so much. When they say it they mean “Be my warmth in this cold world”, “Have my back”, “Don’t let me work an 8 hour shift then have to come home to you yelling and acting crazy” “ Let me find comfort in you after a long day” “Let me want to rush home to you to restore myself”. As a young woman, and I believe other females feel the same; When I hear it, I hear “Fix me”, “Come let me bring all my baggage into your life that I didn’t heal before pursuing you”, “Come and share my pain and in exchange I’ll leave you with some of it.” My point is, we don’t think the same way. Miscommunication is the biggest cause of misunderstandings between people of any kind.
With the air being clear, I don’t believe anyone should be in a relationship with anyone that doesn’t add value to their life. You should always strive to be each other’s peace every single day because despite popular belief, going through a storm with someone who’ll be your extra eyes and ears is always better than going in alone. If you're your own peace and I am mine, there's no way that we can bring negativity to light that will corrupt the peaceful aura we have set with each other because our souls are right with our own person. What I'm trying to tell you is, be so emotionally stable that you can be your own peace after a long hard day of battling the many faces of the world.
That’s all I have for you kids today, please leave a comment. I’m extremely interested in hearing your opinion.